It´s a shame, (and a betrayal), that all our feelings (and thoughts) can be reduced to some chemistry and some electric currents in our brains.
So the suffering is just a way to show us something? For it is nothing in itself. No electricity, no chemistry: no broken heart, no sad feelings, and also no joy. A dead lump of atoms, whilst the atoms themselves are still as active as ever, even in a dead body.
I feel utterly neglected, betrayed, ill-treated, whatsoever.
It is very very hard to find some kind of "superior loving" behaviour in this.
I´m disappointed.
(The Bible says: Blessed are those who despair, but still believe. This is exactly the issue in this case).
My whole perception of the world has been shaken, not only this time.
The feeling of disappointment and loneliness has never been worse.
