...what it is...

I´m seeing clearly what you mean when you say that "a loving mother is wonderful to have, but I doubt that it would have made any difference..."
I´ve come to the same conclusion. The past is gone forever. The past is only good as a building block for a life which we live now. If the past was good, ok, then your life is built on a solid base, can only be shaken by immense blows of fate. If the past was not so good, ok as well: time to review the blue prints for the edifice, make corrections whereever possible, look which building blocks are useful, which of them can be repaired, and throw away the rest, and accept that the edifice will be a bit smaller for better stability. Maybe more happiness can be found outside of the building: indulging in external beauty and wisdom.
The main goal is to be as happy as can be, to find a meaning for a small building. A beggar would be glad to live under a small roof, in an unheated building. He would start to build a stove, collect wood in the forest, and in the end he would be glad not having to care for a huge building with all its problems of maintenance.
I love metaphors, they are like "quick guides" for a complicated machinery.
The rules of human life are very hard. You won´t notice when you´re well off, but you´ll meet their full impact when you start looking for them because you want to find out why things are as they are.
The book with the rules is very hard to read.

From my comment on a friends comment on one of my flickr photos.